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| College is drawing nearer...and I find myself less and less prepared. I have nothing packed, I'm freaking out...I need to buy new clothes. The most I've been doing is reading my books since they arrived the other day. They're pretty interesting...mostly stuff on evolutionary psychology. But they aren't really helping me...It's mostly the social aspect that I'm freaking out about. I almost wish we didn't have orientation because I feel like going to class would be way more orienting...
Radiohead is amplifying my feelings...I love their music but any time I feel paranoid or anxious they mirror that feeling. But in a way it's a bit comforting...Don't ask me how, I'm not really sure. Just to know that someone is as neurotic as me.
Calamari sounds really good right now....all I've today is a peach...a yummy peach...But I think I need something of more sustenance.
God, college is so nerve-wracking. I'm not sure I spelled that right....fuck....I'm gonna flunk out of college...But I have to stay in as long as I can so I can make movies with good equipment....AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGFGAFKLHFlifhcl skfhposaidfhcfakhfliashf.
"No alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises, please."
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| So I have a new love...and it is SHE-RA! Oh man...I do love me some 80's cartoons. It's like ridiculously innocent and explanatory but so awesome. If I could ever get the rights it would be so fun to remake. Although I can't decide what I do with it, whether or not I'd make it live-action or animated, a spoof or take it seriously. But I definitely think there's potential for a really awesome remake.
I went to an ordination today for the new priest at the Episcopal Church, Stephen Barber. It was pretty inspiring. I always forget how moving the services can be there. It's so different from other churches I've been to that don't seem to have much dignity or reverie for spirituality. There was a part in the service were a woman (I don't know her title) would chant a phrase on one note and the people would answer. (Dane Cook makes fun of it...oh well) I found that really moving just because there is something about using tones for prayer that's very effectual. Whenever I go to Webster I might see if I can find an Episcopal or Catholic church that I can walk to on the weekends for service. Might be good to renew my faith in spirituality.
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| Mmmm First entry on the Mac.
I feel like pink. I dunno why....It's RAINING! YAY! We loves the rain precious.
Well...I am done with high school. It's pretty crazy. Not sure what I'm gonna do in the meantime before I go to college....hopefully lose some weight. I think starting Monday I'm gonna walk to the library...look around for books.
Woot! Nothing else to say!
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| Millenial Generation That's right boys and girls. That's what they're calling us. Millenial. WOOO! We get named after a time period! So what is the defining aspect of our generation? Digitality. Yes it's a word. Ok just go with it. We're so connected...but isolated in our little internet profiles and blogs. (Ironic that I'm posting this in a blog, eh?) My theory is that as a generation we have lost some part of our humanity. For us, we have always lived in a world that is digital. Computers, cell phones, internet. So therefore some part of ourselves is digital. We think digitally, especially when it comes to information. Since we're used to receiving information digitally, from the internet, from our phones, we're used to many different feeds of information coming at us. When we're on the computer, we don't only have one window open to us. We have about 6, one is our email, another is an essay we're writing, two are information for the essay, one is a conversation with a friend, and the last is a networking site like Facebook or Myspace. After a while we start to think of ourselves as digital. Probably not consciously, but it's there. For example, when information is presented in analog form (ie a lecture from a teacher or an announcement over an intercom) we tend to still be in digital mode where we can not only tune things out but by tuning them out open ourselves to other sources of information, such as carrying on a conversation while the professor is talking. It's different than just being rude (which is a side effect), where a person talks because they don't have respect for the information being given or the person giving it. With being digital we just forget that we can't multi-task without being rude, because being digital doesn't really make noise. We've lost that sense of being human and being in a physical world where things have unpredictable but very real consequences. In the physical world, everything has an irrevocable reaction, no matter how small the action. In the digital world, there isn't so much cause and effect, and if there is, the effect can be changed. We have no sense of formality since the internet, texting, and instant messaging are all informal ways of communication. This electronic world is such an equalizer than even with the despret attempt to define oneself through a profile or blog entries we are all the same in the fact that we are all pluged into the same grid. | | |
| Another week. It doesn't seem like much, but considering how much the past two days have sucked, I'm not sure I'm gonna make it. I so wish I could miss 4 days next week, but noooo...goddamn attendence. I hate feeling dependent and feeble. I know it could've been worse, could've broken it and had to have this damn thing for another month, that doesn't mean I enjoy having a cast and not being able to carry anything anymore. *sigh* Crutches really suck. Comp/Rhet was interesting today. Told off JJ for being a spineless, comfort-loving jock. I think he got it...though he definitely didn't show it, which is understandable. It's intimidating and embarrassing to be called out in front of a bunch of people, especially if alot of them are your friends. Hmm....hopefully it got through to him...even a little bit. I don't understand this fear that people have of allowing themselves to have an opinion. And when I say opinion, I mean an informed opinion of things around them, of themselves, of the world that we all are a part of. Seriously, what is so scary about being intelligent? The worst thing is that you'll be called a dork or something but honestly...that's not the end of the world. Maybe it's the expectation that goes along with it. If you keep your output low, not much is expected and you can just scrape by because people don't think your capable of anything better. But that's so demeaning. Wasted potential is just so lazy. I'm lazy...but not in that sense. I don't let expectation limit the way I think and what and how I think, feel, and express. Why be average when you're really not? Why hide yourself behind a sham of an idea? It just seems so tiresome to have to keep shunting those feelings aside, shoving them down inside the heart. But then again, I suppose it that's what you're used to, it becomes a habit and therefore a comfort. Same way being expressive and letting your mind expand and explore itself becomes easier with practice. Still...it just makes life so much more interesting and meaningful if you put thought into it. | | |
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